Longing with Grace
On days like today I am so very thankful that I follow a really big God. When I was in college I dreamt of law school, prosecuting dictators for their war crimes, helping run political campaigns, planting churches by the hundreds...and lets be honest...we all secretly hope to be discovered for some deep wealth of gifting. Be interviewed by Oprah, have 100,000 followers on twitter, and run the circuit of late night talk shows.
This is what my day looked like. I cleaned the house. Picked up the dog poop that was on the floor. Went hunting for socks that were separated in the laundry. Did speech therapy with Tait and did homeschool with Sophie for her preschool. (This is just to finish out the school year b/c we couldn't get here in a preschool right now.) It is really easy to feel average on days like today. Who wanted to know my opinion and ask for advice? My four year old. Thats pretty much it. What did I run today? The vacuum.
On days like today there is a temptation to look back at all those dreams of potential and God's heart for this earth. Its so easy to feel like they are slipping away. Then I remember. I spent all day caring for people. Just like Jesus. I didn't learn law, but I learned how to be a speech therapist. I didn't use my skills at logic and deductive reasoning inside of a court room...but they did come in handy as I helped Sophie learn how to put things in size biggest to smallest.
I can end my day knowing that I was loved today and I gave love in return. What could be better than that? Really, all the dreams in our hearts are put there by God. Because He has dreams for us. I don't really have ambition to participate in war tribunals or run political campaigns anymore. But I still beat to see justice established in my generation. I want to scream at the top of my lungs for all those in the world who are trapped in silence. God knows that. He made me.
Life is full of seasons. Some people are running campaigns longing for the day that they have families. Its the nature of longing. Every season has it...until we get to heaven. In the midst of waiting for the promises of God to be fulfilled we have grace to thrive in our season. Resting in the truth that God is faithful. He isn't constrained by time limits, resumes, or people who feel hidden. He sees, He knows, He calls. I am at peace.
Now I am going to clean the kitchen. :)