In true California fashion we headed to the beach this past Saturday. While we were driving there we passed a small law firm. You know, the kind you see in a free standing building with a few parking spaces allotted to it. Nothing fancy, just the average law firm. This thought crossed my mind "I wonder if they feel small."
There are so many TV shows about successful lawyers handling glamorous litigations. It seems like every day in the news you come across cases that will shape public policy. It has to make these family lawyers feel that their jobs are silly in comparison. Social security claims, writing wills, traffic injuries...small potatoes. I hoped that the few family lawyers who worked in that firm didn't feel all the things crossing through my mind. Small. No one wants to feel small.
Except that we do. We do feel small. We live in this mentality that if what we are doing doesn't seem mind blowing or book- writing interesting, then it isn't worth much. Our little minds get stuck in smallness. A spirit of smallness is daunting and discouraging. It breathes insignificance.
I give into a small spirit all the time. I get so locked in on a single days activity that I forget what it is building. Baby steps still go somewhere. I get obsessive about petty things. I give my energy and mental capacity to them. So much time wasted wondering why way more people follow Jady on twitter than me. I mean, they know both of us. Or how come someone asked the girl next to me for prayer when I was available too. Or getting hung up on small dramas within interpersonal relationships. I can't get big if I am stuck in small.
I hate that feeling. We all do. It holds us down and makes us feel silly if we try and act big. I feel stupid saying "I'm a writer." I haven't written a book or been published. I blog. No, not the blog that they make a movie out of like Julie & Julia. Just an everyday blog like everyone else my age.
We think that if we aren't the most acknowledged, the most famous or popular at what we do...then it is just a hobby. Junior varsity stuff. Some of the most powerful teachings I have heard aren't from mega church podcasts. They come from men and women who are giving their lives pastoring a small congregation. But they have put the same blood, sweat and tears into their calling. They have the same anointing. And, I would call you a liar to your face if you said they were "small" compared to the "big" guys.
You are still a teacher no matter if you teach at an elementary school or at Yale. A worship leader is a worship leader regardless if they have an album. Artist are artists even if their paintings are not insured. Famous doesn't make you who you are. Kim Kardashian is famous & I haven't a clue what she does. So, lets just throw famous out the window. And the spirit of smallness along with it. Sure, I may be a little tiny mustard seed, but I have a big God. And together we move mountains. Even if no one sees.