It Was Born On A Melancholy Evening
The view from one of our houses in Seattle.
It seems to me that in the stillness, the quite and remote places, dreams are born. Animals in the wild retreat into the wilderness to give birth to their young and human mothers bury themselves away preparing the nursery. These moments, in these seemingly unnoticed moments, God creates His masterpieces.
I'm sure that somewhere in the world a baby was born in a lunchroom cafeteria & maybe Steve Jobs came up with Apple's ideas while attending a Coldplay concert. Either way, my point is this. Don't underestimate your 'unimportant' moments.
I have always loved writing, but never thought much of it. Then I had a melancholy evening. Well, two actually. The first was New Years Eve 2009. There was a party at our house, but I was downstairs alone with a bad case of food poisoning. Laying on the couch I began to think. Another year going by...what is God up to? Seattle seemed to be trembling with an expectation of the Kingdom coming. I was so moved as I sat and reflected on a city that changed my life. Mustering what energy I had, I pulled out Jady's laptop & began to write. I started a blog that night. I felt alive when I closed the computer. God awakened something that evening.
It was a full year ( January 2011) before I would write another blog. Jady was out of town speaking at a youth retreat, my kids were asleep and my days seemed empty. We had just handed over the church we planted to the new pastors and I was preparing to move to San Diego. One melancholy evening I found myself at the computer. As I looked around a vacant house I was alone with my thoughts. So many of them. Thoughts on politics, God, people, funny lists , rants against injustice. So many thoughts with no one to hear them in my empty house. I sat down and wrote the first entry of Lark & Bloom.
Now, my blog is no masterpiece. It isn't mind-blowing or NPR worthy. It is just my voice in a quiet room. But it gives me life. I get comments from people about how they love it, or it helped them through their day... it makes me thankful for unimportant, lonely evenings.
If we are always in the spotlight, among the hum-drum of life, we miss it. There have to be seasons of restraint and simplicity. It feels like God is holding back, allowing others to run ahead of you. You will find that in those aching moments He is saying "this is the way, walk in it". A new idea, a deep revelation of Him, a direction for your life, or simply a resurfacing of an old dream long forgotten.
David wasn't qualified to kill Goliath because he was a skilled soldier. He was able to kill him because he did something profound during those lonely nights out with the sheep. He wasn't wallowing in self-pity or blowing it off as another wasted day. He met God. Alone with no one watching. A foundation was laid that could hold a kingdom.
Maybe tonight is a melancholy night for you. Or your soul feels overlooked and tired of the fight. God has something for you in these solitary evenings. Perhaps it is big or maybe it will seems small. No matter the size of the baby, when it is birthed from God it is destined for greatness.