Three Questions You Need To Ask
Well, day 12 of An Uncomfortable January is getting practical. The entire point of this experiment was to get outside of my comfort zone so I could grow. You see, I want to be more than I am right now. I have dreams that require a more developed and better version of my current self. But getting there is scary. I'm guessing you feel the same way?
To grow and get better, I need feedback. I can't get there by myself. I can't always figure out my strengths and weaknesses. I don't see the character flaws that sting other people sometimes. I have a general idea, but I need a different set of eyes. I need other people to help me identify areas I need to grow in. Denial and self-protection will not propel me forward.
So, I got really uncomfortable and asked people I work with for their input on how I can get better. Ugh, no, I don't enjoy hearing people tell me what I need to change. I don't like hearing about my shortcomings, but if I want to move past them...I need to know.
I chose three people who I trust. People I know believe in me and will be honest at the same time. I sent them an email asking them to answer three questions:
- What do you see being my primary skills? If I think I am a great communicator, but they say my main skill is administration...then I need to re-evaluate. I want to make sure I have a correct pulse on my strengths. Again, I'm asking people who I trust to answer this in a helpful way. And none of them will reply with administration, I promise.
- What do I need to change in order to serve you and this team better? I want to be the kind of person people want on their team, or to lead them. So, I need to know what to do to be better at it. Do I need to be better at follow thru? Do I make excuses for poor work? Do I interrupt others to make room for my idea? I don't want to know, but I need to know in order to grow.
- What blind spots do I have that I am not aware of? Augh, I'm sweating. I'd like to think I have no blind spots. It is only my friends and other people who have them. However, I seem to find myself in cycles of feeling stuck and I don't know why. I can't let fear keep me from asking hard questions. If I know my blind spots I can plan for them.
So, whats in it for you?
I think you should ask the questions too. Making excuses and trying to keep everything butterflies and rainbows for ourselves won't help. Surely it isn't always everyone else's fault that you aren't where you want to be? Maybe ask a co-worker, spouse, leader, friends... lets let people in to help us. Let's get un-stuck. It is An Uncomfortable January, after all.