and so I ran
Welcome to week 4 of my series on fear. I had no idea when I started My Intangible Cage series a few weeks ago all the fearful things that would be going on these past few weeks. North Korea threatening nuclear war, numerous shootings, and discovering that the mother of a girl in my daughter's kindergarten class has cancer. Then yesterday there were bombings at the Boston Marathon.
What do you do with that kind of news? Most of my day yesterday was spent thinking about the situation in Boston. One of my good friends ran the marathon last year and several others were there watching this year.
I was preparing dinner and struggling with a heavy heart. The news was reporting stories of marathoners who finished the race and ran to the hospital to give blood. Other doctors were sharing about amputating the legs of runners who were still wearing their numbers from the marathon. And then the news of the 8 year old boy who died waiting for his dad to cross the finish line.
I choked back the tears, but not tears of fearful distress. Tears of determination. A determination that I won't be shut down & humanity will not live in defeat. We will be sad and we will grieve, but we will not live in fear.
I'm not sure why I felt the urge so strongly, but I felt the need to run. I am NOT a runner, but I tossed dinner in the oven and went to the back yard where my kids were playing. As silly as it sounds, I began to run around the yard. Perhaps it was an act of solidarity & a way to honor those who had been victimized during the race earlier. I am not sure why, but I just ran. And ran. And ran.
My kids asked why I was running like a mad woman. I told them I am running because I am alive and I can. Soon we were all three running through the backyard.
And so I ran.
I ran for the people of North Korea who live under a oppresive government and can not move freely as I can.
I ran for the mother of Sophie's classmate who can not run with her kids in the backyard because she is recovering from a brain surgery to attempt to remove her cancer.
I ran for the victims of the Boston marathon bombings.
This week has not been what I expected and this is not the post I had scheduled to write. However, the discoveries I have made about fear this week have been significant. North Korea, the mother's cancer, and the bombings have taught me this:
I want to embrace the gifts I have been given and stop fearing what could be taken.
These are not days to spend sulking in our intangible cages and living within bars that are shadows of limitaions. We cannot believe the lie that our confinement keeps us safe. We can not believe that fear is the responsible response. Fear is never safe. These aren't days to remain paralyzed by fear.
These are days to run.
Run the races that God has marked out for us. Run because life is worth living. Run and have fun taking new ground. Run with determination that we will not be held back. Run with hope that what we are chasing is better than what we are leaving.
Run because you are alive and able. Why do you run?
Fear, I have a destiny & you will not keep me from it. ~ My Intangible Cage motto