Stronger or Half-Dead
We have all heard this phrase:
"That which doesn't kill you only makes your stronger"
Here is my version:
"That which doesn't kill you only makes you stronger...or leaves you half dead" ---> click to tweet
How fantastic if things always worked out like the first phrase? You are faced with a painful & seemingly impossible circumstance. You go through something that takes all but the last drops or your strength & life from you. Once you get to the other side the life grows back stronger, deeper & full of confidence.
Great story. My experience has been that it doesn't always work like that. Sometimes situations & trials leave us laying on our backs staring blankly into the sky. There is no way we could ever survive that again. It hurt too much. Part of our heart died. Hope left & numbness set in.
We survive, but only to limp along half-dead.
Each of us have our battles. Maybe you thought you had your eating disorder under control & then all the old thoughts started to come back. You felt so betrayed & then your marriage fell apart. You work two jobs to get food into your family's mouths...just to go hungry again next month. You allow yourself to want a spouse just in time to be passed over again.
It is true. You survived...but barely. They say that God is good, but you aren't going to go through that again. You can't handle it.
So, instead of getting stronger, we live half dead. We smile on cue behind all the well meaning chatter. Yet behind the pep talk we are hurting. Hurting so badly that some of us wish the situation had actually killed us.
There have been situations in my life where Jady & I have literally laid on the floor crying to God because it all felt so impossible. My need was too great & my strength was too small.
So, is the difference between getting stronger or walking half-dead? When we cling to the truth that the cross is enough, we get stronger. ( If you want to know why I think that, you can check out The Dirty Gospel series )
Mankind was not meant to walk around half-dead. We must risk again & we must live.
What Jesus did on the cross is enough to meet us in our place of need. Our personal mistakes, the pain caused by another, wandering hopelessly & waiting for more pain to hit. Those places that seem like a time-bomb inside just waiting to go off - Jesus breaks in there. He died to bring breakthrough. Not just eternal life, but life abundantly. He comes and brings life to half-dead places.
For some of us it is the shadows of things that happened years ago. We have shut off and decided that the pain of feeling nothing is better than the pain of feeling another blow. When you find yourself walking around anxiously trying to avoid anything that could crack your fragile heart - risk on the cross again.
Grieve disappointment with Him. He can handle it. His strength is made perfect in our weakness, remember? We weren't made to walk around half-dead. So dream again. Get stronger. Risk on God. it is always worth it.
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