'Later' is a dream killer
I'm about four days into my return from Burundi. Africa left it's mark on me in so many ways - as it always does. I'm sure I will ramble words here in future posts that explore more of what happened in me during my time there. For now, most of those thoughts are still unraveling in my mind.
There was this phrase though that tumbled across my mind. It popped up when I was sitting with orphans in shelters, listening to drummers up high in the mountains and watching the hippos climb out of Lake Tanganyika. It was there when I laid on my bed under the mosquito net that draped like a canopy over me.
'Later' is a dream killer.
All throughout Africa I thought about this - a million reasons that trip shouldn't have been able to happen. Except we decided that this was the time to move forward with our adoption. For all the reasons 'now' seems impossible, it isn't.
And so we said, not later. Now.
We took a risk. And people showed up. Donations came in to help cover the cost and a village of people surrounded my husband and helped him take care of the kids while I was away. I found myself thinking how amazing the world really is when we just step outside our front doors and start walking towards the things we feel called to.
That dream we want to chase, the idea we feel destined to birth or the relationships we aspire to build are all threatened by this simple thought. I'll do it later.
It is true that we don't know what tomorrow will hold and that the future has zero guarantees. But, I don't think that is what makes 'later' so dangerous.
Putting things off until later reveals not only a false view of the future, but a troublesome insight into the way we see our present.
What is wrong with right now?
I am not brave enough.
I don't deserve it.
There isn't enough money or time now. The future will be different.
I can't handle it yet. There is too much I still need to learn.
I am too afraid. Afraid that I will fail, that I will loose or even worse - that I was not made to do it after all.
There are a million reasons we say 'not now'. And those are the very reasons that 'later' will never happen.
The future version of ourselves is always better. We have more money, we are confident and shake off the haters with a passing glance. Our future selves don't fear failure or making bad decisions. Our future selves are deserving of good things - weaknesses are a thing of the past. We are no longer afraid of ourselves in ___ years.
The future is where we imagine our dreams can happen.
Our assumption is that things will change by the mere passage of time. But, that isn't how it works.
The future is painted by what we do today.
We gotta look at all the real reasons we say 'later'. All of our walls we hide behind or the excuses we make that let us get away with being people we aren't proud to be. Time doesn't change the way we see ourselves. We gotta deal with our reasons head-on. If not, today's excuses will become tomorrow's excuses.
Yea, we may not be able to do all of our dreams right now. We have families, jobs and financial responsibilities that we need to take care of. However, most of the time it isn't really responsibility that stops us. It is a belief that right now, we can't. We aren't enough and don't have what it takes.
It is my personal belief that we are all created by God with an eternal destiny within us. We were made for more than haphazard living with idealistic views that one day it will all be different. Each of us holds something valuable. Right now. Today. Even if it is baby steps, we gotta start walking towards something bigger.
Let's create the things, have the conversations, board the planes and start the businesses. Let's be honest about the lies that tell us that it can't begin now. 'Cause we got dreams people. And 'later' is a dream killer.
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